At eleven years, my mother took me to the “bush” in her bedroom

While I was in my bedroom preparing for my first day at school, my mother held my right arm and took me to her bedroom. This was mother’s way of punishing us while we were kids.

Scared, my heart started to beat faster than ever, for I thought I had done something wrong, little did I know that she was taking me for some “maturity” classes.

“Clare you are growing old and there are certain things you need to know about your body,” she started.  

I nodded in agreement. “Soon your breasts will grow bigger, and at some point, you will start to bleed through your private parts. That bleeding is called menstruation and it happens to every girl, every month, as soon as they reach puberty.”

I could not believe what was coming out of this seemingly tough woman. I had always seen her counseling girls from her school, and this time round it was me. So I paid attention till the end.

“Your body will become curvy, and men will start admiring you. Please my dear little angel; do not listen to any of those men. Do not laugh with them anyhow. Look at them as dangerous wild animals,” she said. And indeed, I grew up knowing that all men are wolves that could kill me if they got the chance.

So I asked her, “but mom, why are you telling me all this?” And she said that I would appreciate as soon as I got to school.

Sure she was right!

While my mother was busy teaching me how to use sanitary pads and being careful with my life; some other parents were teaching their vulnerable daughters about how best they can satisfy men.

I reached school, and on the first day in the dormitory, these little girls were discussing the dos and don’ts in a marital bed.

Pretending like I was not bothered about what these girls were talking about, I continued to organize my luggage around my bed.

They went on and talked, and the most intriguing was when one of them raised the issue of pulling the labia. Apparently, she was in serious pain, because her mother had done it to her the night before she came to school.

Inquisitively, I asked what they meant, and they all looked at me like I a naïve baby who did not know anything. That is when one of them told me to pull down my pants, so she can see how I looked down there.

I refused and told that my mother only taught me how to use sanitary pads, and did not do any bad touches to my private parts.

Of course since I was the only sheep among cattle, I was considered a villager.

To date, my memory of that day still rings in my mind, like a fresh wound. Why on earth would a parent decide to take her little infant to the bush to talk about sexual satisfaction with a man?

I think these girls are too young to know about certain things. Why would you late your infant grow up knowing that she is a sex object? I still cannot find the answer to these questions.

Parents should wait a little longer, before they can start telling their little ones about these things. A girl at the age of eleven, should be thinking about playing netball with her friends, or going swimming, not satisfying a man sexually.

That is outright wrong. That is the reason we continue to have unwanted pregnancies among juveniles.

By the way, because of the attitude my mother instilled in me, I never dated until I was in my second year at campus. To be continued…